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Today’s post is the final one for NaBloPoMo and I’m pleased to say that I made it!  Luckily there was nothing in the rules about the posts being good, or well crafted or even interesting.  I took advantage of these rather lax policies as more that one post would qualify as ‘fluff’, but there were also a few that went above and beyond my normal blather.  I believe there was balance in the end and since that’s pretty much my mantra (balance-ohm-balance) its all good.  It was a fun exercise and it might fuel me to post more often on the weekends, but not this one.  I’m going to celebrate my accomplishment by not posting this weekend … or, at least, by not having to post.  Imagine one less stress at the start of December; talk about your Christmas miracles! Oh, and come Monday, I’m going to celebrate with a little contest I’m calling ‘Secrets and Lies’ … stay tuned!

Its not even December and here I am tucking into the my first egg-nog of the season. It is totally NOT a good diet choice, but given that right now neither is a fine glass of wine, it will do as my second choice. The on site training is over until after the first of the year and I feel a little like I’ve been cramming for a test. I just hope everything will still be stuck in my little pea-brain; it is a little overwhelming. All that being said, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was enjoying the challenge of it, especially the problem solving. The days have been long, the stress high and both of those things are overshadowed by the feeling of accomplishment.

D and I are back to the grindstone this weekend, painting and such. I’d like to finish everything up by January 1st ... so I can make the next list, lol. Actually once the current projects are done we may call a halt for a little bit to catch our breath. Even with our ‘party weekend’ we don’t feel we’ve had a break in some time. That really isn’t true, I think its the ‘time of year’ talking. My normal ‘take on too much’ attitude is doubled this time of year; the to-do list in my head is unreasonable, and yet I keep adding to it. I’m cracked! Cracked I say!

Hey Internet,
You know I’ve been silly busy lately and super good about this daily posting thing. The side effect of those two things is that I’m woefully behind on my blog reading. I miss you and I’m feeling a little secluded. So, I was wondering. Could you stop by and update me on everything going on in your life these days? I’d really appreciate it

The backup is running which means I have exactly eleven minutes to construct a blog post. Eleven minutes to tell you my brain is running out my ears because I cant find my blog archives. I cant find my archives because I’ve moved my documents to the ‘domain’ and I’m currently logged into my ‘local disc’ ... same computer, two different areas of security. My system is basically broken in half at this moment and I must log out and back in to access the each half ... and I’ve no idea what is where so I keep finding myself looking in both places. Add to that mental meltdown that all the other pc’s in the building are resisting ‘promotion’ to the domain, part of the phone system committed electronic-o-cide today and at least one employee is in a mood today; well I’m nigh onto flying off the handle. I’m staying late tonight both to get somethings done while its quiet, and to have a breather before I go home and light into D unnecessarily. I promise this won’t become a blog about the new computer system, but today it is honestly all I can think about...or at least I can think about the parts that haven’t leaked out my ears in the past eleven minutes - har.

When I left work tonight my intention was to stop at two places and pick up the final items for some upcoming swaps and the grocery store for bread. Seven stores and more than a few dollars later I had what I needed (other than dinner) and headed home. I covered all the swaps (3), two Christmas presents and a birthday present; not bad considering I really didnt’ have a plan. What amazed me about the whole thing was the lack of shoppers at the mall. I went into one of the anchor stores at its children / accessories department door ... my truck was the only car in that parking lot. It was eerie. I passed less than a handful of other customers and the employees were so bored they were falling over themselves to help me. The lady in cosmetics was so desperate to give away one of their ‘free gifts’ that I ended up with one in my bag even though I didn’t buy her brand (Lancome - nice!). I felt badly for them, especially because they have started holiday hours and are currently open a half hour longer than normal. We are suffering in my business too. We should be at our busiest right now, but there seems barely enough to keep the guys busy. Its scary really. How’s the business in your neck of the woods?

I did so much nothing this weekend that I’m tired. How that is possible I’ve no idea. All I’ve done of any consequence is a small amount of ‘putting away’* and a large amount of laundry (six freakin loads - I was just a tad behind). I watched TV - mostly ANTM - read a small amount of my book and several blogs, and spent lots of time sitting in one spot or another (my back is better but not great). This afternoon we returned to the house were last weekend’s party was held. Our primary goal: to find a pair of shoes D left behind. We ended up playing games with the host, his kids, their neighbors, and two other mutual friends. It was very relaxing. Which is a good thing because next week is back-to-the-grind ten fold. The new computer system is on site and running. All the pc’s must be promoted to it’s domain and their preferences, shortcuts, desktops etc copied. We have ‘on site’ training next week and it’s end of the month. There will be more than one late night, I’m sure. Someone better send D a casserole - heh.

*D and my biggest failing as housekeepers is our inability to put things away...we’re excellent, however, as leaving things right where we put them - ack!

A few days ago the wonderful Kim bestowed upon me the ‘You Make Me Smile Award”. As a recipient I am to pass that award on to five others. Wow! Talk about mission impossible, especially as I’m right on the heels of all those wonderful birthday wishes every one of which made me smile. And then there’s the non-on-line folks that also make me smile ... it is a difficult award to bestow, which makes me feel all the more special to have received it. But, oh...how to pass it on? By groups of course. So, to the group that made my birthday so special, to my daily reads who make me laugh, to the uber talented craft bloggers that inspire and challenge me, to my family each of whom is special in their own way, and to D who makes me smile ... even in his sleep. My thanks to you all; now pass it on!

Now, a dilemma that I need your suggestions to solve. I received a check today to reimburse me for the food I purchased for last weekend’s catering event. I was pretty proud of that amount as I managed to feed fifty folks for $190. The check that arrived was in the amount of $300...wow! On one hand it could be an error, the host could have confused the amount that I told him. On the other it could be a very nice ‘tip’ for my hard work. I’m not sure if I should question that the host intended the amount or to simply thank him for his generosity. What would you do?

Despite – or perhaps, due to – my previous posts declaring 40 to be a fabulous age my body has been reminding me just how old I really am.  While we were painting I had some back issues, nothing serious just general creakiness and difficulty rising from a chair if I’d been in it too long.  Last weekend was much the same but with slightly increased pain and limits to my mobility.  Today I am what my grandmother would call ‘down in the back’.  This condition in no way competes with true back problems.  I have a few friends with serious back issues; trust me when I say this isn’t the same.  No, ‘down in the back’ is the clown version of back problems.  Yeah, it hurts but it hurts while I’m laughing.  Every action is preformed with exaggerated care … hug the wall to cough, hands on knees to stand, no sudden movements and so forth.  Dressing is a combination torture and contortionism as I try to put on my underwear without actually bending over, pants are the same and socks are nothing but a bad joke.  Shoes?  Surly I can go to work barefoot on the day after Thanksgiving, right?  There is a distinct area between up and down that simply doesn’t work and I’ve discovered a deep appreciation for the handicap rails in the bathroom at work and the arms on my office chair.  Sometimes I ‘stick’ there in the middle, not sure if it would be better to rise or fall back and not convinced that either is actually possible.  Even the exercises, pelvic tilts, that are supposed to aid such things are comical and accompanied by staccato ‘ows’ and ‘ohs’.  I’ll not even discuss the acrobatics involved in getting to the floor to do them, or that once there I’ve entered ‘dog zone’.  Luckily we’ve decided to take the weekend off … yes, you read that right; did you faint?  Our plans involve nothing other that what the mood might dictate.  I’m sure there will be some cleaning and laundry simply out of necessity but there will also be plenty of taking it easy, and sewing, camping in front of the TV, and book reading, because we think we’ve earned it in the last few weeks.  Besides, if there is one thing I know for sure its that all those waiting projects will still be right there next weekend.

The house is filling with the scent of pumpkin spice cake and caramel sweet potatoes. With 80 degree weather it is these things that signal Thanksgiving here more than any other; these and being thankful for my fabulous friends and family who made me feel super special on my birthday. D, my dad and step mom took me to dinner...mmmmm steak.

We had a great time. Working together we often forget to be together so having everyone there was a wonderful treat.

I rarely get a birthday cake on my birthday, but that’s just fine when there is creme brule:

And better because it was free since it was my birthday. The waitress didn’t check that so I may go back next week for more - heh.

We went back to my dad’s house after that to open presents which included the ornament I linked to yesterday, a gift card for Dillards (yay ... underwear and socks!) and a 30 piece box of Norman Love chocolate.

They are so darn pretty I still haven’t eaten one, but with varieties like Pink Lemonade (lemon ganache-oh my), praline (chocolate and hazelnuts), mint chocolate chip, cinnamon roll and french silk (custard pie and dark chocolate) I probably wont be able to hold out much longer.

The other big surprise was from (in the order they appear on the tag) Rox, Jae, Ailsa, Kim, Greenie, Jussi, Donna, Sharon, Annie, Cindy and Donni, who pooled together to double the number of beads I have for my Pandora bracelet.

The photo doesn’t do it justice but if you visit the flickr site there are notes identifying which ones are new. The tag on the package said: From all around the world we are thinking of you on your 40th birthday couldn’t you just cry? Ok, maybe you couldn’t but I get all teared up over Folgers commercials so as you might imagine this nearly killed me. Ladies you made my day, and better, gave me something I shall look at and always remember how very, very lucky I am that you ... no matter the distance...are all a part of my life. I am a very, very thankful person this Thanksgiving.

Due to a camera sanfu (namely a dead battery) I cannot share with you the photos of our dinner, or of my creme brule (swoon), nor can I show you the box of Norman Love chocolates that my step mom gave me. You’ll have to take my word that they are too darn pretty to eat. Rest assured that I will find a way.  I cannot show you the package of Pandora beads & spacers & locks sent to me by the most amazing group of women, or the fabric gift card from BD or the gift shop gift card from D or the clothing gift card from my Dad. I cannot show you the Swarovski ornament I received or all the birthday cards. But I can tell you I have the most wonderful family and friends that a person could have and that tomorrow I will I will properly thank each and every one of them.

Today I turn forty.  I spent some of my weekend time trying to construct the perfect post to celebrate the occasion.  It was filled with all the wise and wonderful wisdom that comes with being forty (I’m excited about it actually).  But then I got to thinking; if you really wanted to read that heart warming drivel you’d visit Oprah.com not UfO.  So instead I’ll share that forty is…

…old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway.
…old enough to have grey hairs and young enough that they are still out numbered by your original color.
…old enough to see wisdom in everyday lessons and young enough to ignore it.
…old enough to want those pesky kids off your lawn and young enough to hold your tongue lest you embarrass yourself.
…old enough to know you couldn’t possibly catch that cute young thing and young enough to look anyway.
…old enough to know your limits and young enough to wake up with a hangover.
…old enough to wear reading glasses, and young enough to pick out the really cool ones.
…old enough to know you can’t dance and young enough to boogie down.
…old enough to be good at a favorite pastime and young enough to want to learn another.
…old enough to have a gallon of wax left over from your birthday candles and young enough to consider using it to remove the hair on your legs.
…old enough to go to bed at nine and young enough not to admit it.
…old enough to know your cholesterol level and young enough to enjoy bacon & eggs.
…old enough to droop a little and young enough that it isn’t all the way to your waist.
…old enough to know you don’t know everything and young enough to act like you do.
…old enough to feel mature and young enough to never want to grow up.
…old enough to not always appreciate booming bass and young enough to turn it up when you do.
…old enough to eat more fiber and young enough to counteract it with pizza.
…old enough to have aches and pains, and young enough to pop an Advil.
…old enough to know fairytales don’t come true and young enough to love them anyway.
…old enough to appreciate comfortable shoes and young enough to covet a pair of heels.
…old enough to have put away childish toys and young enough to remember where.
…old enough to know there is a season for everything and young enough to wish it always be spring.
…old enough to have the chutzpah to say what you feel and young enough to do it politely.
…old enough to appreciate the finer things and young enough to still not be able to afford some of them.
...old enough to enjoy a handwritten letter and young enough to check your e-mail every fifteen minutes.
...old enough to not be carded and young enough to be delighted if you are.
…old enough to have hairs where they don’t belong and young enough you can still see them to pluck ‘em out.
…old enough to appreciate a good steak and young enough to still be able to chew it.
…old enough to not be able to tell the age of younger people and young enough to remember what it was like to be that age.
…old enough to shop for support hose and young enough to act goofy while you are waiting in line.
…old enough to know you are growing older and young enough to believe it can be done with grace.
…old enough to be wowed by new technology and young enough to not be scared of it.
…old enough to appreciate the sunrise and young enough to occasionally sleep past it.
…old enough to groan at the really bad jokes and young enough to repeat them later.
…old enough to accept regrets and young enough to earn a few more.
…old enough have crow’s feet and young enough to spackle them over.
…old enough to think you can write forty of these things and young enough to hope you aren’t still blogging at age fifty.
…old enough to appreciate your real friends and young enough to recognize & remember who they are.
…old enough to keep your birthday on the down low and young enough to secretly want everyone to make a big fuss (as Laurie said yesterday, ‘You’re just a bid kid!’ … yeah, I’m so busted).
…old enough to know birthday gifts aren’t really important, and young enough to show them off.

On that note let me brag:

Kim sent a decoupage initial that she made from the most perfectly chosen papers you can imagine (poppies, cats, dogs, dragonflies, butterflies and comfy chairs), a movie (someone has been peeking at my Amazon Wish List) and a beautiful silver dragonfly necklace.  I love it all, many, many thanks to all the Deans, but especially to Kim ‘cause I know she’s the one who made it happen.

Rox sent a ginormous poppy themed package.  Poppy placemats and napkins, beautiful poppy note cards, a plushy poppy throw that I’m sure she made, raspberry soap with poppy seeds, licorice tea, a crochet flower pin and a beautiful vintage apron that D will look really cute in.  She also included cat nip and dog toys; because she knows when I smoke cat nip I get a terrible hankering to play tug-o-war.  (Woman, you went way overboard, but I love it all and can’t thank you enough).

My mom sent a gift card for a pedicure and a facial – woohoo!  You know how I luvs me some pampering.

I had a lovely card from Greenie (who seems to have killed her blog again) that expounded upon the virtues of chocolate … a vice I firmly believe in (thanks chick!)

Laurie ‘sung’ me ‘happy birthday’ on her blog (how freakin’ cute is that video?) and she sent me a sewing pattern, which she didn’t intend as a b’day gift, but hey, if the timing is right – heh.

Gigi, Brad and Kim sent me ‘Happy Birthday’ e-mails (thanks guys … I’m touched that you ‘membered, sniff).

D is taking me to dinner tonight, with my Dad and step-mom to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, a favorite but rarely visited spot.

It’s already been a very nice birthday, and I thank you all for making it so

It’s hard to believe that today marks the two year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, and harder still to believe that from that time to now I’ve also lost two grandfathers and an aunt.  Not that I don’t love and miss them all, I do, but her death is the one that affected me most and still does.  Today, though, isn’t a day to mourn and neither are the missed holidays and birthdays.  Today is the day to celebrate who she was and how she affected my life.  She wasn’t perfect, none of us are, but she was real and that’s important.  And so, I give you 100 things for grandma…
1.  Her middle name was Nadine.
2.  She hated spiders, even the little ones, but she was unfazed by practically every other creepy crawly thing.
3.  She always typed her letters … she was a terrible typist.
4.  Grandma believed that big girls didn’t cry.  I never saw her tear up until her later years, when her emotions seemed harder to control.
5.  She tried to teach me to sew, but the concept escaped me at the time.
6.  She never cooked enough food for the number of guests she was having.  We still joke about her two pound roasts for 18 people.
7.  She was crazy for Tupperware.
8.  …ditto for Avon.
9.  Grandma went to church, and never got over being disappointed that I didn’t.
10.  Sadly, the hospice where she died was likely the nicest place she had ever stayed.
11.  She was monumentally stubborn (yep, this is where I get it).
12.  She was an animal lover and had a particular fondness for cats, and Chihuahuas.
13.  She raised three boys.
14.  She once had me take a $4 poster to the framing store and spent almost $200 framing it because she liked the photo … a sunset.
15.  Grandpa never knew what that cost … probably a good thing.
16.  Shortly after she died dogs attacked and killed her two cats.  I’m glad she never knew.
17.  Grandma’s father was half Cherokee.
18.  He left them when she was little. 
19.  She had two maiden names.
20.  She was a firm believer in ‘line dried’ clothes and though she had a dryer she rarely used it.
21.  Ten or so years ago she lost an arm to cancer.  My uncle, her youngest, called her a ‘one armed bandit’.  I don’t believe anyone else could have gotten away with it.
22.  She once worked in a factory, making paper cups.
23.  She liked instant tea … no sugar.
24.  Grandma was very no, nonsense.  I fell out of the hayloft and broke my arm, and her solution was to load me up with aspirin and put me to bed on the sofa.  I didn’t go to the doctor until my parents returned some eight hours later.
25.  She had moles on her back and sun cancer on her nose and face from working in the garden.
26.  She loved to read, particularly bodice rippers.
27.  She didn’t like that family members drank, but she did once confide in me that she had a fondness for rum & coke which she had tried once on a cruise.
28.  When I was little she canned vegetables and made jelly.
29.  I’ve never had elderberry jelly as good as hers, and suspect I never will again.
30.  We always had trouble remembering if her birthday was the 5th or 6th … we were so bad that there were times she didn’t seem sure either.
31.  She loved to go to the cat show.  We would make a day out of it every year until it became difficult for her to be on her feet that long.
32.  When she wanted to buy something big, like a new bed or piece of furniture she would wait until my grandpa was out of town.
33.  She got her first new car ever when I was in college.  She was so excited she sent me photos, which included pictures of the trunk and engine compartment.
34.  She wanted to keep the car as new as possible and kept rubber bottomed bathroom rugs in the floor boards.
35.  When they moved to Florida I was the only person she’d trust to put her precious car on the trailer, despite the fact that I’d never trailed one before in my life.
36.  She said “Well, I swan” instead of “I swear” …. All one word, ‘wellayeswan’.
37.  She once stopped a horse from pitching me off my putting a finger in each of his nostrils and pinching…he stayed very, very still until she let go.
38.  Grandma made quilts; they were passable but not works of art.
39.  She kept the salt and sugar in identical containers … more than once I baked cookies with two cups of salt, and a teaspoon of sugar.
40.  She didn’t find these baking mishaps amusing.
41.  When I was little she had cat-eye glasses with rhinestones in the corners.
42.  My mother and she never saw eye to eye.
43.  The only thing she had of any value was an antique red, glass pitcher which she gave to my mother.  When my grandmother died my mom gave it to me.
44.  She always wrote the date and subject names on the back of photos she took.
45.  Grandma was not afraid of snakes.  I can remember her calmly taking a garter snake out of one of the shoes in her closet…like it was no big deal.
46.  Opals were her favorite gem stone.
47.  When she gave us ice cream she served it to us in a tall glass with a long teaspoon, a splash of milk and a spoon of ‘Nestle Quick’ powder.
48.  As long as I knew her, she and my grandfather never shared a bedroom.
49.  There was a root cellar in the back of the house that amounted to a trap door over a deep hole in the ground and a steep set of steps.  She kept the things she canned down there and it didn’t freak her out one bit to have to go down there and get something.  It freaked me out to walk over that hollow trap door.
50.  Whenever we went to lunch she ‘forgot’ her billfold (this was well after I could afford to buy her lunch).
51.  She had a red rooster that would set after her with his spurs if she turned her back on him.  Surprisingly she didn’t put him in the soup pot; instead she gave him to our milk man.  Damn rooster set after her when ever she visited the dairy.
52.  Despite a humble upbringing she had a surprising collection of costume jewelry and scarves that she let me use to play ‘dress-up’.
53.  For a few years she raised rabbits to make money.
54.  In my ‘tweens’ she made me a skirt and shirt from a pattern I picked out and never once complained about the miles and miles of ribbon, and lace trim it contained(remember prairie skirts?)
55.  She is the only family member who took my disease seriously; possibly even more seriously than I do.
56.  Even though she lived in Florida, when I think of her now it is always ‘on the farm’ where they lived before they moved here.
57.  She only liked ‘v’ neck or ‘scoop’ neck shirts … never crew.
58.  Her son’s remember her as strict, I remember her as stern; but she never sent me to cut my own switch, so I’m probably wrong.
59.  She believed cast iron was the only pan to cook in …. Until they became too heavy to handle easily.
60.  Grandma loved music, mostly gospel, but she also liked country and some folk.
61.  She did not always side with ‘blood’.  When her son’s marriage ended g’ma made it clear that she felt he had caused its demise.
62.  Her favorite ‘eating out’ places were Mexican or Chinese restaurants.
63.  G’ma was a hottie when she was young…based on the photos, she knew it.
64.  She liked braided rugs and they were everywhere in that tiny house in Missouri but she never had a one in Florida.
65.  She could be very hard and unforgiving.
66.  She was a world class bickerer … at least when teamed with my grandfather.
67.  She wanted to move to Florida and I don’t think gave a damn what g’pa wanted.
68.  She loved old movies; our mutual favorite was “An Affair to Remember”.
69.  Her all time favorite movie?  “The Thornbirds”
70.  She was heavy, like me, but she liked food more than she worried about her figure.
71.  When I was little she had a poodle named Beau (I always though it was Bo).  More than once she told me to stay out of his face.  When he finally got disgusted and bit me she offered no sympathy.
72.  When I was little there was always a box of Mr. Bubble Bubble Bath powder on hand.
73.  She never cursed, and frowned mightily when I did.
74.  She wanted to see the Grand Canyon.  I hope I see it someday for her.
75.  She napped in her recliner every afternoon.
76.  She was not an emotional person … I’m not sure she knew how to be.
77.  She always kept a mare’s tail (or burro’s tail) plant … I have it now.
78.  She washed her car by squirting it with soap and setting it out in the rain.
79.  Her hands were those of a working woman.  She had never had a manicure until she lost her arm and could no longer trim the nails of her other hand.
80.  She was most content sitting out under the trees and reading a book. 
81.  Nearly every Christmas and birthday she gave me a book of some sort.  When I was 14 she gave me Valley of The Horses, without a single thought to some of its racy content.  I’m still a little wow’d that my g’ma would read a book like that – heh.
82.  She and my grandfather kept a garden in the summers.  I can still remember her sitting for hours on the side porch, snapping pole beans to get them ready for canning.
83.  She liked Neutrogena shower gel, and often had me pick up the ‘huge’ size from the warehouse store.
84.  She liked leg of lamb for Easter dinner but wanted it so well done it was more of a charcoal briquette than a roast. 
85.  She must have kept every button that ever got separated from a shirt in her household…I have the brimming container to prove it.
86.  She wasn’t afraid of getting pecked when she put her hand under the chickens to gather eggs.  I only collected the eggs if the hen wasn’t on the nest … I would still probably skip the nests where the hens were sitting if someone sent me to collect the eggs.
87. Grandma knew how to clean a chicken, and they raised chickens for supper until my college days.
88.  My grandparents never had much, but she never seemed discontent with what they did have.
89. Grandma had a penchant for cute things, particularly anything with a cat on it.  I fell back on this knowledge many, many Christmases.
90.  Grandma’s tongue didn’t have a governor on it, and she pretty much just let fly with what ever she was thinking. 
91.  She kept a garden of poppies in a huge white washed tractor tire in the back yard.
92.  Grandma often made rice for breakfast.  She let it sit all night in a double boiler on low heat with whole milk and sugar.  In the morning she cooked it down some more and added cinnamon.  I’ve never mastered this breakfast … but I really should.
93.  She was very fond of Billy Graham.  I don’t think she ever listened to John Denver again after she heard ‘Forest Lawn’ because she thought he was making fun of Billy.
94.  She sewed her own slippers, and rarely worn any but them.
95.  I have the patterns for those slippers.  She cut them from sand paper so they would stick to the fabric and she could cut them out without pinning them down.  I can remember my grandfather bemoaning the loss of his expensive sandpaper.
96.  She was short and couldn’t get into my truck without a step. 
97.  I believe she knew when the cancer came back and chose to do nothing.
98.  I believe she didn’t want us to worry.
99.  She was not afraid to die
100.  I loved her, and I will always miss her.

In the end we were the most comically, inept mobster family you ever saw. Our only successful hits were on our own people , “Oyster” (D) was killed twice and returned as Al Dente and Al Fredo only to be killed by a rival gang while on his way to jail....tough crowd out there. I survived, and it was even pointed out at the awards ceremony that I gave good counsel to my Don - who secretly survived last night’s shooting only to get the chair Saturday- counsel that was ignored in a most disasterous manner. Oyster appeared to have defected to another gang and while Don Vito wanted his head I advised that we ..ahem .. speak with him first. Somehow Oyster hanged himself in his jail cell ... we knew nothing about it ... swear. Turns out Oyster was acting as a spy per the Don’s instructions, instructions the Don forgot he gave and Oyster’s death cost us information that might have changed the outcome of the game had questioned him.

I did survive, and in the end my character was of no importance at all. All that so called pressure was of my own making, not the GM’s. It seems self consciousness plays as big a role as being a sore loser does. If invited to play next year I will accept and I know I’ll have more fun because the ice is now broken and that is bound to make a difference. It’s already been asked if I’ll ‘cater’ next year and despite thinking ‘never again’ more than one time during the process I, of course, accepted. Hey, how could I not after a rousing round of applause and many, many comments of appreciation for both the food and my efforts serving both Friday and Saturday’s meals?  I’m better at being support staff and more comfortable in that position as well. Perhaps next year I can play a maid - heh.

Today we go back for open gaming beneath the trees, or just book reading, or hanging out or ... whatever. This, my last vacation day, will be the only true vacation day. The house isn’t pristinely clean, the bathroom isn’t finished, the painting isn’t done, I didn’t sew my ‘Pay it Forward’ gifts and its been a wonderful vacation.

Thank you all for your nice comments yesterday.  Amazing, isn’t it, what a good coat of spackle will do?  If nothing else it was fun getting my hair and makeup done ... sometimes I’m such a girl, lol.  The food and cake went off without a hitch last night, but it was a lot of work and I spent most of the evening about nine steps behind everyone.  I’m still mostly confused, but things are starting to click.  I can’t say I’m doing any ‘role playing’, I’m not, but I’m trying to think like my character.  Baby steps, people.  The Don, my brother, was killed last night which should make today more than a little interesting.  There are only three living Corleone’s, one was married off to the rival gang last night, one is the youngest daughter of the Don, and the last one is me...holy crap. I believe that the youngest daughter is the successor, but I’m thinking I should ‘take over’ until she’s of age.  In real life, both myself and the girl (who is maybe 14-15) are new at this and are nervous wrecks.  She probably didn’t say nine words last night.  Here’s the sore looser bit .. I’m a little cheesed at the GM’s for putting either of us in this position...its hard to have fun when you’re under pressure.  I think I’ll kill myself over my brother’s death, that’ll fix ‘em.  Heee.

I guess I’m off to a funeral, gotta go paint my eyebrows on, schnort.

Connie Corleone

and her faithful Pomeranian, Mackenzie