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Kermit said, “It’s not easy being green”.  And though I’m not one to knock the Tao of the frog I must respond in my best Miss Piggy voice, “You don’t know the half of it, buster!” Being green has become something of a fashionable trend and I’m glad to see it.  The only way for such a concept to become the norm is for it to become affordable, easy and popular.  Unfortunately, declaring yourself ‘green’ is the fasted ticket to hypocrite-ville this side of throwing your hat into a political ring. 

For example, you want to start recycling your food cans so you diligently set them aside as you cook dinner, rinse them clean and drop them in the proper bin.  Good for you, or is it?  How much water did you waste rinsing them?  How much energy was wasted heating that water?  Which act, recycling the can or wasting the water / energy benefited or harmed the environment most?  More importantly how do we, the average consumer, know?

What about buying organic foods?  There’s no rule that says a company selling you organic orange juice must pack it in an acceptably recyclable container.  Most do, and some even package with materials that have already been recycled once.  But some don’t, and unless you are diligently checking the packaging for the right recycling codes it’s a crap shoot as to what you are really getting.  I’d dare say that even a granola-eating, earth-shoe-wearing diehard has problems with this little catch 22.  The truth is that you just never know.

Even companies stumble.  My favorite (but now defunct) magazine, Organic Style proudly proclaimed that they printed on recycled paper and used soy / vegetable based inks.  Yet they wasted more paper than any other magazine I subscribe to with those darn subscription cards and renewal notices.  The one thing that they did do right was to debunk some of the recycling myths, like paper or plastic.  They compared, back to back, paper and plastic bags from production to end-use and it was the plastic bags that made the smallest footprint on our eco system.  Surprised?  I was too.  It’s just not as easy as it seems…the obvious isn’t always the answer.

Another thing they did right was admit that not everyone was going to give up the niceties of life in favor of the environment.  And better still, they offered suggestions for achieving balance.  It’s a quagmire of difficult decisions, faulty logic and hypocritical pitfalls; for some the only option is to give up and go on, but for me it’s about that balance.  I conserve where I can and don’t worry about where I can’t.  I can’t afford a $200 pair of organic cotton jeans but I can carry my own bag into the grocery store.* I won’t deny myself a long, hot shower when I really want one, but I can shorten the one I take every morning.  I’m not giving up the TV keeping me company when I’m cleaning or sewing, but I don’t have to have it going in three rooms.  I will not let the ‘yellow mellow’, but I will run the faucet at a lower pressure when I wash my hands, and turn it off while I’m brushing my teeth.  Personally, I’m a firm believer in ‘every little bit’ and this year I want my ‘little bit’ to be bigger. 

Number ten… be, um chartreuse.

*Well, sometimes.  It’s super easy to get the bags in the car … harder to remember to carry them into the store.

We’re nearing the end of January and the end of my list.  It’s a mad scramble to get the last two together; fitting, because number nine is about finishing what I start and procrastination.  It’s possible that it might be better suited for the ‘10’ position, but I’ve a small rant planned for that one.  When I get hot on something there’s no stopping me but I always run out of steam (loose interest) a few feet from the finish line.  You need an example?  My brother’s quilt top …. 75% complete – for two years.  The master bath remodel … lacks about four hours of work.  Painting the house … needs touch ups and two doors painted.  The new TV and stand … still haven’t resolved the ‘fit’ issue.  There’s no doubt that these undone things weigh on my psyche and in keeping with number one; ‘take better care of me’, it’s time to get them done.

Number nine:  Finish it!

All righty,you better visit the ‘rest stop’ and top off your drink I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

To start with I promised a photo of my slightly wonky, cube shaped, project tote.

It is, at best a medium duty tote (if you filled it with books the handles would surely fall off), but I really like the idea of it, filled with knitting sitting next to the knitters favorite chair. What do you think?

Friday was a ‘good mail’ day. I received a very nice SwapBot package. It was a small swap, but it was super clear that she read my profile and that doesn’t happen too often. She included some beautiful fabric in the swap .. I need a ruling on this one. Broken resolution? There was also a ‘just because’ package from Rox containing a really cute bookmark (unless you are Kim) recipe fridge magnets and bubble gum, which I promptly got in my hair. How does one become so old they cant safely blow bubbles?

Saturday D and I ran an errand, dropped the dog off for her weekend ‘play date’ with her mom and headed north to St. Pete for the motorcycle show. We had talked about staying the night and our mildly late start cinched it. We went to a hotel we were familiar with, grabbed a room and then D took me to the fabric store. Yes, I said fabric store. I managed to leave empty handed, but I wont tell you that I didn’t fondle a fair amount of it. They had a super nice section of oriental patterns, some of them appeared to be kimono fabric ... really, really pretty stuff. Once we left I needed a drink to calm my fabric loving nerves so we went to a little ‘hole-in-the-wall” for a super tasty lunch. Then, off to the show which was a whole post in and of itself. There were bikes of course.

A few of which D needed to get really close to.

Even though we stuck out terribly, most of the designer / builders were super nice, very patient and more than happy to show off their passion.

There was also a great deal of ‘hard-not-to-stare” people watching. Of course, if you paint yourself yellow stares are what you are after, we couldn’t help but oblige.

And there was ‘boob’ watching too ... you’ll have to guess which one is the boob - heh!

That second one was a tiny thing, I could have snapped her in two with my little finger and she said to me, “It so neat that he has such a cool wife - giggle”. It made me laugh.

As things turned out even our abbreviated afternoon was more than enough time. There weren’t as many competitive bikes as we thought there’d be ... maybe 30, and even though the vendor area was interesting (you could get your teeth whitened, buy a real hedge hog or kitten, get a tattoo, buy several kinds of motorcycle insurance and pick up teeny-tiny bumper stickers) twice through was plenty so we wandered off to dinner. Our choice? Another hole-in-the-wall with super great seafood. We finished the evening with a little hotel room lounging before turning in early. Yeah, we’re old.

There aren’t any good photos for Sunday, but we spent the day wandering the pier area and downtown, taking the trolly tour and visiting the Dahli museum. We even stumbled on this, which we can’t afford .. but it is kind of a cute idea, no? We had so much fun we’ve promised to try to have a weekend away once every three or four months.

Which brings us to today, which only has one interesting note. You might remember I had a blood test a few months ago ... my platelet count was borderline dangerously low, the doc said no drinking and retake the test. Getting back into the doc’s office to have the results read to me was more than a little difficult but today I finally managed it. After waiting almost an hour and a half to see him he announced all tests to be normal ... and that the problem was likely due to low iron levels during my ‘cycle’.  Good news, but darn it, I didn’t get to drink the bottle of wine I bought for my fortieth because of his alarmist ways. I’m happy that all checks out, but oh, so tired of spending months with little, niggling worries banging around in my brain. I dont sleep well as it is, I dont need his help.  Me thinks it may be time to get a new DO.

So, there it is ... did ya make it to the end or did ya doze off? I expect this week to be hit and miss on posting as we’ve reached our first ‘month end’ with the new computer system. Things are still seriously screwed up and I don’t imagine there will be many spare minutes. Hopefully you’ve got your fix of my blather and it will tide you over till next time.

D and I are indoor people, I sew, he computes, we play games and watch tv.  Last weekend’s trip to the beach was something of an oddity in our lives but also something that needs to happen more often.  There are weekends when the cars never leave the driveway and the people never leave the house, other than to let the dog out.  Not that we need to leave to go outside, fifteen minutes pulling weeds or walking the neighborhood or throwing the BALL (Mackie + ball = all caps) would surly suffice.  We could both use a little more fresh air, a little more sun and a lot more ‘Wow, there’s a whole world beyond our concrete walls’.

Number eight:  Spend more time out doors.

I wasn’t going to go here ... I swear I wasn’t. I hemmed and hawed and waited hoping the feeling would pass but every time I turn on the TV there it is. My blood pressure goes up, the muscles in my neck tense and tiny wisps of smoke start rolling out of my ears. I dont want to know that there were drugs in Heath’s room, or that his masseuse called one of the Twins before she called 911 or that there was a rolled up $20 or any of the other bits of information that true or untrue are leaping out into public knowledge. I want to believe he was his character in ‘A Knight’s Tale’, I want to believe he was a good daddy to Matilda Rose, I want to believe he was a good person and I don’t want to entertain any other ideas. A terrible, sad, accident ... a dumb way to die ... good enough for me. And, frankly, it should be good enough for the rest of the world until authorities determine different. Nancy Grace had a renowned forensic scientist on her show tonight crying foul play, CNN had grainy film of the last time he was seen alive. E-freakin-nough! The media is not my favorite entity to begin with and they are rapidly becoming my most hated. Not specifically due to the way they are handling Heath’s death, but for the way they handle everything these days. Guesses, theories, sensationalism all designed to raise their viewers or readers or listeners. That’s us. Short and sweet. That’s us, and as long as we are interested in the grit of other folk’s lives the media is going to keep digging for it. Its hard to look away from a train wreck (Britney, anyone?) and I’m as guilty of rubber necking as anyone, but there comes a time when we are responsible to keep the traffic moving. A time when we have to mind our own business and give others their dignity and privacy. A time to look away and move along and I say that time is long past.

I just cant believe it...

I am inundated with stuff.  I buy things on a whim because I like them, because they smell good, because they come with a free cosmetic bag, because they come in cool packaging … there’s a million ways I can justify these purchases.  The fact is I buy too many things for all the wrong reasons and the stuff must go!  This resolution already has a plan because it is a continuation from last year, and I was happy with the progress I had made right up until my mother moved.  And then …bring on the stuff!  She gave me things she thought I might use, a whole box full of cleaners, pantry items that we won’t eat, things that should ‘stay in the family’.  Most of it was small, but it blew my whole ‘for everything that comes in something must go out’ intention, and like a diet one little slip lead to an avalanche. 

The clutter is one thing, but I cringe to think of how much money all those things add up to.  Cosmetics are one of the worst offenders.  Sitting here at my desk I’m sure of at least two bottles of foundation in the bathroom drawer that weren’t quite the right color.  I bought them because I was loath to spend mall prices on one that I know is a brilliant match.  I probably saved $10 and wasted $15.  The mall brand might not have been cheaper but it wouldn’t have gone to waste, and that really is the bigger picture.  I need to suck it up, admit that I wasted money, and toss the ones I won’t use to clear the clutter and go get the one I will.  If I simply culled the things ‘I might need someday’ the house would probably float a few inches above the ground due to the loss of weight. 

I’m pretty sure that my personality is of the obsessive compulsive variety; my mom would say it’s a genetic trait I got from my father.  This trait wreaks havoc both on the number six resolution (step away from the credit card) as well as the capacity of my cupboards.  Worse, if you’ve been around here long enough, you know I hoard things … not just fabric… lots of things.  My step-mom gives me French milled soaps with my initials carved in their tops every year for Christmas (‘V;s’ are cheap – lol).  Last year was the first year I actually used them rather than tuck them away.  It might not sound like much of a victory, but it was as big as not mentioning the word ‘cake’ a few posts back.  This year the emphasis is as much on using what I have as it is getting rid of what I don’t use.

Number seven:  Use it or loose it.

There was a package waiting for me when I got home Friday from the ever fab Laurie. I was expecting it because I had asked her to knit me something to keep my ears warm when I walk. What I didn’t expect was that she’d send me two ‘ear warmers’ (she insists I call them Calorimetry, but I can’t even pronounce that, so ‘ear warmers’ it is) as well as other goodies. Somehow she knew how much it charms me for someone to send a little something for the ‘kids’. Laurie sent peanut butter doggie treats, which Mackie adores and snacks for the cats as well. She also sent me some ‘devil dogs’ because she knew I’d never tried them. They were marked ‘In Case of Emergency” but they never made it to the first crisis. I’ve had two, and D...well, lets just say he likes ‘em - heh. It was a really nice way to start the weekend, especially because it got cold enough Sunday that I could try my ear warmers out.. extra big thanks Laurie!

Most of the rest of the weekend was spent battling Mrs. T’s computer, but it wasn’t all work and no play. We went to the beach of course, and I did some sewing. I made an odd but cute tote. I’m calling it a ‘project tote’. Its a 10” square cube and a little on the ‘too big to carry if full’ size, but I think it would be great for storing a large quilting, crochet or knitting project ... you know the kind that gets worked on a little at a time. No photo yet, but soon. I also threw together a sleeve for drinking glass, something I’ve intended to do for years. In theory I should wear gloves to handle a cold drink or things from the freezer. Um, yeah ... not happening ... so a wrap around coaster has got to be the next best thing. These were both nice projects because I could finish them in the few quiet hours I had, and sometimes it’s all about that ‘finished’ feeling.

Mom is busy with one of those silly boxes she’s always playing with. She’s mad so I’m keeping low, but I though I’d help out by telling you about our trip to the beach. Dad suggested it out of the blue yesterday and they bundled up towels and treats and stowed them in the car. It wasn’t beach weather, it was very foggy, but we went anyway. Mom tried to mess with me and tell me I wasn’t going but I’m smarter than her. My bag went in the car (I have my own over night bag ... mom made it...when it comes out I know I’m going) so I went in too.

Dad tried to get me out ... he called and called ...

Silly human…

Its a long ride to the beach so after a little head-hanging out the window I had a nap. Once at the beach I was made to wait in the car. Why these people make me do that I don’t know ... the whole point of ‘going’ is getting there. But, nooooo, they make me wait.

But when they say ‘ok’, whoopeeee!

It was still foggy when we got there.

No matter, the first order of business was to check out all the neat smelly things on the beach.

The second order was ...um...number two. I imagine this is why dad wanted me out of the car back there in the beginning, but its always better to go at the beach...something you humans just dont seem to get. It’s so grand I went three times ... each time further away from the clean up bags. My humans are silly, some things they never learn (that’ll teach ‘em to tease me about how I cant go along - hah).

Next, I surveyed my new kingdom.

But then something bad happened. Dad went into the water.

I tried to pull him out.

I begged and pleaded, and tried to reason with him.

He tried to get me to go in .... NO WAY buster.

He finally came out and we left the water’s edge to investigate all the interesting things to be found up beach.

It wasn’t as good as the smelly stuff near the water, but I suppose that’s a fair trade off for finally being away from that wet nasty stuff. Mom seemed to like it. She’d make a good dog ‘cause she pokes around in stuff and finds critters and things. She found lots of flowers ... I don’t care for them unless they have bugs.

She did find a fly, but he was to tiny to even taste.

She also found lots of webs all covered in fog - I don’t like that kind of wet either.

But there were no spiders. Sad really because I was getting hungry for a snack. I had a cookie instead; good, but not as good as a spider.

Then it was back in the car, and back home where I was forced to get wet again...bah! how I hate baths but there was much talk of ‘wet dog stink’ and once I hear that I know its coming. If they wouldn’t get me wet I wouldn’t stink. Sigh. Its a rough life, but I manage. Mom spent the rest of the day cursing at that silly box and dad worked with his box too, with less cursing. Me? I’m smart ... I napped till supper time and then I napped some more. It was a great day...even with all the wet.

D is being mean and I’m telling (using my 7 year old, back seat of the car, brother / sister ‘he’s on my side’ voice).  Next weekend we are driving up to Clearwater to go to a boob motorcycle show.  D has been interested in modeling bikes for some time and is hosting a six month online modeling contest.  We are going to the show to take photos, stir his imagination and provide some inspiration to those participating in his ‘build off’.  I’m mildly interested in the show itself, but am mostly excited to spend a day out together (I think I’ve mentioned that I don’t ‘relax’ well at home).  Last night, in an off handed sort of way he reminded me of the fabric shop in that area where even he was impressed by the quantity of fabric they stock.  I’ve never been, but he, knowing full well I’ve sworn off new fabric, has offered to take me while we’re in the area.  Further he’s suggested that if he purchased the fabric it wouldn’t count.  It doesn’t help that my new Hancocks of Paducah porn catalog arrived a few days ago and it is jammed full of ‘I’ve got to have some’ fabrics.  Also there’s a never-before-seen-by-me Amy Butler pattern that I would swear I need (completely forgetting yesterday’s post).  It’s a sure bet that the shop in Clearwater will have many of the fabrics and possibly the pattern, but as much as I’d like to see the place for …um…future reference, I’m not sure I can be trusted, ya know?

On an unrelated note, I spoke to Laurie on the phone last night – more fair to say I spoke ‘at her’ as I tend to get chatty when I’m nervous.  Yeah, I’m lame enough that I was a little nervous, but it didn’t last long and we had a great chat.  Thanks Laurie!

Another unrelated note: I’m patting myself pretty mightily on the back today.  An acquaintance called to invite me to his woman’s surprise 50th birthday party.  She was a friend until she split with her husband (also a friend) and then she made herself scarce.  She cancelled arranged lunches, failed to show at parties she said she’d attend and eventually I wrote our friendship off as a causality of the split.  My normal response to such an invitation would be an immediate offer to make the cake.  In this case I even wrote the word on the piece of paper where I took the party date and time … but I never said it.  Not. One. Peep.  And I couldn’t be more pleased with myself.

Every year when the holidays are over I find myself still in spending mode.  I see it, I want it, I get it; there is little self restraint.  I justify these purchases by saying “its my Christmas present to myself”, never mind the things I found pre holiday that were justified in the same manner.  This year, because money has been tight, I tried to keep such purchases to a minimum or used ‘Christmas money’ to make them.  Now I know what you are thinking:  “Money has been tight???  What about the new TV, the new console, the new computer?” Sadly, you are right, there have been several large purchases that should have waited until there was more cash on hand – meaning plastic was involved.  In fact the only thing cash purchase of the three was the computer.  It was not too many years ago that I was in debt up to my arm pits.  I was miserable and frustrated.  It took two years to improve my credit score and pay down cards to the point that when interest rates took a dive I was able to refinance my home and pay off everything except my truck and an equity line.

I’m embarrassed to say that through the holidays I started breaking my own credit card rules.  Rules like:  Don’t use the card because you don’t have the cash.  Don’t use the card for food purchases (restaurants).  Don’t shop at department stores when Target will do, or buy things just because they are on sale.  And, for the love of gawd, don’t buy things you don’t need (this is the big one).  The result is a smoldering credit card, a very happy credit card company and an unhappy me. 

Number six:  put the credit card away.

A few posts ago I mentioned that I’m helping a neighbor lady with her computer.  We are waiting for a new hard drive to arrive, and in the meantime I’ve been trying to clean up her files.  The amount of junk, most of it from emails, is staggering.  There are also quite a few photos, but only a handful of them are people she actually knows.  Sunday, while flipping through them with her, I happened on one of an older gentleman seated in a row boat proudly showing off a good sized fish he’d evidently caught.  “Nope”, she said, “I don’t know him”.  I closed the image and deleted it as quickly as I could, lest she get a second look.  The old codger’s willy was poking out of his shorts!  Now, granted, I don’t know Mrs. T all that well but somehow I don’t see this as a photo she’d find particularly funny.  Besides, like the guy from Australia’s Thunder From Down Under said … that’s not the most attractive bit of male anatomy.  Personally, give me pecs and abs and butts over willies any day.  Not that I have the speed to actually catch one of these guys … but I can look, right?

I woke up early this morning, cued up the DVR and tried my hand ...err hips ... at belly dancing. I’ll wait while you catch your breath, wipe those tears of laughter and worry about how you’ll ever get that image out of your mind. You done? Take your time ... you sure? Ok, moving on. I cant say I was an instant whiz at it .. more like a tap dancing hippo ... but it was fun. It was a thirty minute tv show, so there was maybe 15 minutes of actual instruction and two combining the steps that were learned. It wasn’t enough to really increase heart rate, but I can see that it would really benefit balance and obliques.

Resolution number five ... Try new things.

Wow ... I didn’t intend to disappear on you for quite so long. I skipped a day on purpose to give everyone a chance to sign on for the Laurie Project but then work consumed me and poof, I was gone. This was our first week on the new computer system and we had four days of on site training. Since we had to keep business going, most of my training took place after hours, so there were some late nights and really very little to blog about. After all, there are only so many ways to say ‘I’m so frustrated that brain is bleeding out my ears!”.

The weekend was a mirror reflection of the week but with far less frustration.  I had the lawn mowed, palms trimmed, garage cleared out and dog washed by noon.  Then D and I went to Sephora in search of an interesting beauty product for him to draft in the computer.  It was a fruitless search, but it did spawn some ideas that he’s been working on ever since.  Also like work, my weekend was filled with computers.  My neighbor friend has a computer error that suggests that the hard drive is about to give up the ghost.  The short version of the story:  new drive ordered ... documents backed up.  I also replaced my old computer and have spent much of today getting it on its feet (the game load alone took over three hours - yikes). 

At this moment I’m just sorta worn and not particularly enthused about anything.  See ... you didn’t miss much, did ya?

Yesterday I got a semi-urgent email from my friend Judy, which I followed up with a phone call to her at her request.  It seems one of her blogging friends is in need of the help of strangers and she figured I would be willing to be one on those strangers...she was right.  Here is an excerpt from an email from another of Judy’s circle that explains what is behind the Laurie Project

I have a friend who is in trouble.  She was diagnosed with uterine cancer and has been fighting it for awhile now.  She’s at the point where she’s just broke.  Her medical bills and her medication cost so much that she and her husband have just plain run out of money.  She can’t afford her medicine anymore.  She doesn’t have warm clothes for the winter.  And she has nothing left to buy these things with.  (Keep reading.  I promise, I’m not asking for money)

So what we’re doing is creating a website called “The Laurie Project.” It’s at http://www.thelaurieproject.org.  It is in it’s early stages right now, so keep checking back.  At this site, you can donate money directly to Laurie, if you want.  But the goal for the site is to setup a little store.  We’re inviting all our friends/family/strangers to donate any “crafty goodness”
they can make.  We sell those items and all of the profit goes to paying Laurie’s bills and getting her the medicine she desperately needs.

I don’t know Laurie, but her friends love her, and that’s enough for me.  I’d like to encourage each of you to donate a ‘made’ item to this cause, you might even already have something finished that just didn’t find a home at christmas.  Maybe you have a pattern you’ve been dying to try or a ‘busting at the seams’ stash that could use a little ‘tuck’.  If you dont have time to whip something up take a quick peek in your patterns and books, maybe there is something there that you’d donate instead.  C’mon crafters, lets show them how we shine.