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After all my moaning, mom ended up in a non-private room; meaning I couldn’t have spent the night even if she demanded it. Worse, she is in the bed closest to the door, meaning the smallest half of the room. Her roommate has accumulated both of the chairs in the room to her side, as well as the full capacity of the closet. She’s too cute a little old lady to argue with, so I balanced my day of sitting with an evening of standing. Its all about balance, I always say. Mom is doing well, pain of course, but she was lucid when I saw her...well, up until a shot they gave her at bed time...after that she was drunk-heh. I drove back to the condo, dropped into bed and didn’t stir again till 4:30 (5:30 by my body’s clock, so not terrible - still, I wish I were still in bed right now).
I’ve had a few people mention privately that I hadn’t given much info on the blog about the surgery. That was not a failing on my part, but a conscious decision. If my posts seem more concerned with my own comfort and well being than my mom’s, it is not lack of care or concern but the simple ‘not telling’ of a story that is not my own. Blogs are many faceted, that’s what I like most about them, but there are some topics that I don’t think should be aired here. Suffice it to say, she is doing well, is a little ‘overly’ happy (good drugs) and is in high spirits that she is finally ‘fixed’. Her hospital time will be longer than expected due to some surprises during the surgery, so she may not be as ebullient five or six days from now...time will tell.
The first part of yesterday I spent keeping her company in the ‘prep’ room. It should have been about two hours...it was four. The next bit was spent in a huge waiting room. Despite its airiness and carefully neutral decor it was a difficult room to be in. It combined waiting family members for out-patients, surgery patients, and ICU patients; the wide range of emotions contained there was exhausting. Based solely on brief outbursts I gathered that at least three families lost someone yesterday. Overheard from my immediate area were stories of a man who mangled his hand in machinery at work and lost it and another who cut his foot so badly they not only had to stitch it back on but had to remove part of the bone that had splintered out. A woman survived a heart attack, another a stroke. Joy, sorrow, relief, agony...the room was so charged with emotion that I expected my hair to lift from the back of my neck and cloud to form in the atrium over the lobby poised to strike the next family being visited by an aide in bright scrubs or doctor in white coat. In defense I buried myself in my book, and after four o’clock when the volunteer went home, I took turns with two other women answering the waiting room phone and calling names of families waiting for news. Seriously.
When the surgeon called for me, one of the other women answered the phone and called for ‘Baker’...my last name is tough, but it doesn’t sound much like ‘Baker’ so I continued reading. So, rather than being called to the conference room the surgeon came out to sit with me. She started to give me the update when her eyes landed on my book, I could literally see the gears shift as her mouth said “I loved that series” and her brain tried to re-formulate words like recuperation and pain management. We had a great discussion about that author and others we both enjoy before getting to serious business. Don’t feel badly toward her, I was kept very well informed each step of the procedure and she knew it...I liked her immediately and wasn’t the least concerned that book banter preceeded talk of my mother. I liked her so much so that I’m more that a little bummed to have met her...another person I could see being a good friend that lives a thousand miles away. Clearly I have got to get out more.
Speaking of far away friends Rox said I would, and she was right so I’ll finish today’s blather with a meme:
The One Word Challenge
1. Where is your cell phone? charging
2. Your significant other? sleeping
3. Your hair? blech
4. Your mother? drugged
5. Your father? home
6. Favorite thing? sewing
7. Dream last night? none
8. Favorite drink? wine
9. Your dream/goal? health
10. Room you’re in? cold
11. Your ex? fake
12. Your fear? unloved
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
14. Where were you last night? hospital
15. What you’re not? easy
16. Muffins? banna-nut (hyphens count, right?)
17. One of your wish list items? ring
18. Where you grew up? missouri
19. The last thing you did? typed
20. What are you wearing? sweats
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pet? pouting
23. Your computer? frustrating
24. Your life? busy
25. Your mood? ok
26. Missing someone? ABSOLUTELY
27. Your car? plush
28. Something you’re not wearing? bra (c’mon...its 5 in the morning!)
29. Favorite store? Sephora
30. Your summer? distant
31. Like someone? Yep
32. Your favorite color? garnet
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Who will/would repost this? You 
It took two planes, two busses an automobile and a long cold walk on the tarmac but for those that are interested I’m here. It will still be a day or two before the blather starts. Tomorrow will be all day and night at the hospital, and the following day probably the same. Hopefully by day three I’ll be able to return to mom’s condo for things like sleep (who need sleep anyway?) She has just moved in so there is very little here...even things to sit on are in short supply..but the computer is pretty good company. Just think of all the blogs I can catch up on that I’ve so terribly ignored the past couple of months. I hope you are all wonderful...I miss you already 
I didn’t mean to disappear on you there...but things sorta snow balled and I pushed the blog to the back burner. Friday there as was a little victory at work and I actually went home feeling pretty confident that I’d be caught up before I hit the road Wednesday. This morning when I walked into work I was greeted by the roar of a shop vac and the squish of water underfoot. A compression fitting under the kitchen sink..um...decompressed and made one unbelievably gawd awful mess. Even working till 7pm tonight I’m behind again...surprised aren’t you? I did get my swaps out this morning so that’s a relief...and I’m happy with what I sent, always a plus. Tonight is packing and planning and tomorrow is early to work - probably home late again tomorrow night. Its a good bet that I’ll be dissapearing again, but I’ll be back, probably before the week is out. Thursday I’ll be sleeping in a luxurious recliner at the hospital, but after that I should have computer access in the evenings...and probably little else to do. So, you’ve been warned...possible long winded blogging ahead, heh.
I’m slowly whittling down the pile and slowly getting everything together. I worked late tonight, and then ran errands, one of which was stopping by the bookstore to pick up occupational devices for the pending trip. Turning up the sci-fi aisle I was abruptly stopped by an unexpected road block; a woman of considerable size firmly parked in the middle of the floor. Standing nearby was her significant other other...of equally considerable size. They were discussing a phone call he had just finished and were both semi annoyed with whom ever had been on the other end. Each was dressed in black but I wouldn’t classifiy either as ‘goth’...more gamer geek. I pondered over books that weren’t what I wanted thinking she’d get up or he’d step aside, instead another man moved up the aisle speaking as he came and they all ignored me. Finally I stepped behind her...our combined sizes filling the aisle nearly past capacity. She neither leaned forward nor stopped speaking and my ‘excuse me’ didn’t even earn a look. Again I pondered over books I wasn’t interested in, the shelf I wanted was blocked by the chatty guy. They were talking about writing; the woman had written a book but complained that as the story kept changing in her mind so she didn’t think it would ever end. Besides, she couldn’t seem to find the publishers contact information. The chatty man was only too happy to share all he knew of such things but was interrupted by the couple’s cell phone and the woman’s announcement that she was not only hungry but had spent too much time in the floor. With a great deal of groaning and an ‘ow-ow-ow’ mantra she lurched to her feet, collected her man and pushed past me out of the aisle. For a moment I thought chatty guy would carry on with me but he muttered something about the store not having as many authors as they used to and wandered off. With the aisle to myself I could now search for my book ... ya know, the one that wasn’t in stock - argh!
Plane tickets purchased, plans are in the making and I go in eight short days. I’m less ‘tizzed’ than I was yesterday, but still overwhelmed by all that needs to get done. I dropped two swaps that dont have assigned partners yet...that leaves me with two, both of which need to go before I do. I’ve also got two promises outstanding, but I’m thinking they’ll forgive me if I’m a tad tardy. I’m a good traveler, but getting ready to go I tend to be a little over the top. Suddenly all the ‘undone’ must be done, the house must be cleaned...even the corners, lawn must be mowed, weeds must be pulled, car must be clean...you name it I feel like I gotta do it. I’m sure Freud would have something to say about my needing to put things in order before I travel; control maybe? Fear? Who knows? In the spirit of my first resolution - “take better care of me” - I’ll be doing my darnedest to concentrate on what truly needs doing and let that which will wait, wait. Sure, I’ll still make sure D has things to wear, and food to eat, and sure he could do those things for himself, because thats another way I say ‘I care’. The two pound hair ball under the bed...that can wait.
There was little sleep last night and it had nothing to do with my frenzied mood. I called it quits about 9:30 and D followed at his normal time around 11. On his way across the house, in the dark, he put a hand out to fend off the book shelf. The offending paw landed not on books, but in the midst of a collection of glass sphere lamps sending several to the floor and liquid paraffin all over the carpet. Oh. The. Joy. About the time I drifted back to sleep my work phone rang. A customer wanting service ‘tomorrow’ - grrr. It rang again about 5am and I gave up on any further zzzz’s. Good thing though, poor Rox was working graveyard and she kept me company for a while which almost made being up so bright and ugly bearable. Thanks Rox!
On an unrelated note and quick tale:
D and I shopped for treadmills this weekend. We were standing in a big box sports store comparing two models...the mid model and the Tim Taylor bells and whistles model. I had both spec slips in my hands doing a line-by-line comparison the differences of which came down to motor size and belt length. The 9 (ok maybe 20) year old sales associate was standing patiently nearby when I looked up at D and said something like..."I suppose asking a guy if an extra 5 inches is worth $300 dollars would be a dumb question - eh?” I think I killed the kid...D just rolled his eyes.
Well, as usual I’m behind; also as usual its my own darn fault. We piddled and played this weekend; spending most of Saturday shopping and Sunday lazing about. There was some work as the pile followed me home, a surprise party to go to, and a few chores. I’ve got three swaps due in early March, a promise or two yet to keep, the pile is really no smaller than it was and now there is a deadline. In two weeks or less I’ll be jetting out of here bound for the great white north. My mother is having surgery and wants me to be on hand to aid her. A big chore...made all the bigger by everything that has to be done (yes,things I should have been doing this weekend) and the explitive, explitive, explitive, cold. And before some well meaning pshcyo analyst reminds me that its mom that’s important here, just let me say “I know”. She’s good right now, and I’ll worry about her when I get there. Right now I’m working my way into my patented ‘travel tizzy’, making lists, fretting...ah well, everyone has to be good at something
D and I don’t typically do much for Valentines; a card or two, some candy, maybe flowers but it isn’t an all day event and usually passes as just another day – slightly sweeter. This year he made cards for me…perhaps I should say he ‘rowed’ cards. D has a rowing machine and they offered free valentines for him to print if he rowed 14K meters…he was rowing his little butt off when I got home, but I didn’t think much of it. This morning he presented me with the fruits of his labor, two cards and a ‘cootie catcher’ – yes, the man made me a ‘cootie catcher’ – and if that don’t warm your cockles, well, you’ve got a stone lodged in your chest. He also gave me a spa certificate for a facial, massage, manicure, and pedicure. I swear the advertisements I papered the walls with had nothing to do with it.
And now…back to the pile that stands between me and going home – blech.
I’ve always been a little obsessive compulsive. I don’t mean that I wash my hands 20 times a day or can’t stand the sight of cat hair on the floor; rather when I become interested in something I obsess over every nuance and make wild compulsive purchases in regards to the new obsession. Here’s an example. When I first met D he fenced. No, not building fences .. fencing, as in ‘touche!’ or ‘Zorro’. I became interested in it simply because he was and it wasn’t long before I had my own foil, jacket, mask, gloves and shoes. I was the lamest fencer with the bestest stuff.
Of late my obsessions are two: bento boxes (or more specifically, bags to carry them in) and skin care. Luckily there is no place nearby to purchase a bento box so I am contenting myself with flickr images. This works just fine with the ‘too much stuff’ resolution. Unluckily there are several places to spend great swaths of money on skin care. I have the wild idea that if I can just find the right goo I can make the skin under my eyes not look like it looks – can you say crepe paper? One misstep into a Sephora or an Ulta and it’s bye-bye pay check (familiar Moo?).
I really need to find cheaper obsessions … like breathing maybe 
One of the best parts of blogging is that what you choose to write is totally up to you. If you want to write about politics, or sewing, or your crazy ex-husband – well, so be it, it’s your blog. There are blogs I steer clear of because what they write doesn’t interest me and I bet the writer is as ok with that as I am. It’s like changing the channel when the show gets too whatever; its all about choice. Luckily, blogs are like potato chips … no two are exactly alike and you can’t read just one. You can, however, read what you want.
I also really like all the gadgets that come with blogging, particularly the ability for readers to leave comments…and my ability to respond to them. I love the side conversations that often result, as well as the friendships. Another favorite gadget is Site Meter … if you don’t have this on your blog you are missing out. Site Meter lets you see how readers find your site, what city they are visiting from and my favorite, what search words they used. Believe me there have been some doozies. Best of all it’s free and very easy to add to your site.
Of course I’m also really fond of links. When I encounter a blog with not links I feel discouraged. The links not only tell me a little more about the person I’m reading but they also introduce me to ‘new reads’. When there are no links, especially on a craft blog, I feel like its saying that ‘I’m not influenced or inspired by anyone else’. ‘Bunk!’ says I, even the most creative and crafty among us is influenced by the things around them … but that’s another post for another day. I even like when people post their Amazon wish lists and I don’t feel it’s begging. It’s interesting to see what people are reading, it tells a lot about them and that’s really why I blog; to ‘meet’ other people.
So, what’s your favorite thing about blogging … your favorite gadget … or link?
All righty, deep breath taken, soldering on but before I do thanks to you all for the encouragement and offers it was exactly what I needed...you guys are terrific!
We played hard last night, going to DocJ’s eating spaghetti and gaming. It was a small group and very fun and relaxing but I’m paying for it today and am little more than a lump. But, lumpness is ok .. or so I’m told, and I’m trying to embrace a do nothing attitude for the day. Luckily I’m running on four hours of sleep, so lazy is coming pretty easy. Tomorrow its back to problems and frustration, but today its all sofa or chair or sewing room and I’m fine with that.
To be honest most of my posts this last month and a half have been somewhat of a sham. Truth be told, I’m not happy, I’m not calm and I’m not really ok. Last night I proved that to Laurie with a semi insane phone call...I’m sure she hung up the phone, looked at Tom and said “Oy, did I screw up when I gave that meshugeneh our phone number!” Even Rox, whom I adore, is worried that we’re ‘breaking-up’ because I haven’t been around much and it has absolutely nothing to do with any one I know..irl, net or otherwise. It has to do with work...more specifically, it has to do with the new program. We’ve gotten past the computer errors and are into the program errors. All along I’ve tried to be the positive, encouraging voice. The one that embraced the change and rolled with the punches. But now, at our first ‘end of the month’ when warranty monies are dropping into salary buckets and the tax report, normally off by pennies, is off by almost two grand I’m past frustrated...beyond defeated...and I feel downright stupid. There is no reason that I can’t figure this out, and yet with each passing day I feel more befuddled. The reason I spent Sunday sewing was because I desperately needed a project I knew I could do and be successful at. I like challenges, I do, but right now, this one is getting the best of me.
Most of you know that one of my resolutions was to use up my fabric stash and to not add to it by purchasing fabric. I allowed myself one caveat; I can buy fabric for specific projects. For example: if Kim’s daughter decides she wants me to make her another costume this year and I don’t have something on hand that will work I can get what I need. So far so good. In fact I’ve visited a couple of fabric stores, one out of sheer curiosity and the other because I was looking for a pattern and I managed to leave both empty handed. However a situation has arrived that I need a ruling on ... two, in fact, but they are basically the same. I’ve received some fabric in a swap, and Laurie wants to send me some fabric to make her a tote. Should I change my Swap-Bot profile so that it doesn’t mention fabric, or stop participating in that type of swap? Should I refuse to make a bag for Laurie? What do you think; and I breaking my resolution by swapping fabric, or accepting ‘given’ fabric?
I’m fairly sure that I wrung every usable second out this weekend. Saturday I bit the bullet and re-painted the most of the trim on the house. Yep, I said re-painted. The color had been bugging me. It was just a little too dirty diaper and the more I looked at it the less happy I was; this is part of the reason the paint job wasn’t finished earlier, I was trying to ignore the problem.
The stripe on either side of the door represents each color. Left is the old ... right is the new. I am oh so much happier. Even D, who was resistant to the change thinks its an improvement (probably because he didn’t have to paint any of it - heh).
Speaking of D, when I got done painting he suggested I grab a shower then we’d go to dinner and a movie. If you’ve been around here long enough you know I never turn down an offer to get out of the house. It was a simple plan that turned difficult when our chosen restaurant had people falling out of the door. We went on up the road but with limited success. Our second choice was out of business, and a third closed. After limited debate we decided on a local, but not cheap, Irish Pub. Three steps in the door the hostess asked if we been in since they’d dropped the old menu and became a steak house. We hadn’t but we weren’t opposed to steak for dinner so we sat and perused our menu’s. There wasn’t a steak under $35! Long story short, we stayed and called it an early Valentine’s dinner. It was good, but I’m not sure we’d make an effort to go back.
Sunday was craft-tacular, and I spent the entire day tucked away in my sewing room. I made two tiny drawstring bags, a bead bracelet, a bead book mark, and a set of stationary (all for swaps).
And four totes:
Yeah, that last bag is the same fabric as the chair ... told ya I horded stuff, lol. All the bags are my own pattern, and nothing really spectacular but I’m really pleased with all of them. So ... what’d you do this weekend?