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Many of my ‘life lessons’ were learned from my grandmother, among them ‘big girls don’t cry’. She was stern and callous, as, I am told, was her mother, and she simply didn’t tolerate tears. Tears of pain, tears of anger, tired tears, she’d have none of them. I remember being put outside, and told not to come back ‘till I was calmer’ on more than one occasion. Because of this, I do not often cry (at least not when anyone is looking), unless I’m angry. I cry when I’m angry, and I hate it so much that the crying usually makes me cry more. Not blubbering, sobbing, unconsolable crying, but big wet tears that leak from my eyes and make my throat tight and my voice unsteady...and basically make me appear terribly unprofessional, when all I really am is angry.
With age, I’ve found that I cry more now, than ever, and for a wider variety of reasons. Sappy holiday commercials get me every time (that Folger’s one where the soldier son comes home and makes coffee for his family -sniff!). Five minutes of Homeward Bound last night had me tearing* up so badly I couldn’t see the TV. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen a movie, or read a book (yes, books can do it to) I ‘well up’ at the same spot every time. Heck, I even tear up over people’s blogs ... folks adopting babies, losing family members, getting new pets - I don’t stand a chance. My step mom will hear me in here blowing my nose and holler through the wall ‘Now what?” - its laughable! So, a question ... what makes you cry?
* I have to say that some of it is because it’s just so sad to hear Michael J. Fox’s voice sounding so young and unimpaired. Movies with Christopher Reeves have the same effect on me.