Unfinished Object

Once I was asked, neither kindly nor tactfully, if I blogged to garner attention for myself. This, my 500th post*, seems like the right time to address that question. The query came from a person who does not blog and seemed sincerely incapable of fathoming why any one would waste time on such a puerile endeavor … and yes, the question raised my ruff a bit. I tend to be defensive of my hobby, and I offer no apology to that. I won’t condemn anyone who finds blogging not to their taste; and I expect the same treatment in return. Unfortunately people are people and they forget that their opinions are just that ‘theirs’ and shouldn’t always be imposed on others. I agree that we all have a right to our opinions but there are times when we should keep our big mouths shut – or our fingers off the ‘send’ button, whichever the case may be.

So, do I blog to be accepted and gain attention? I suppose I do, if you can call my three regular readers, handful of monthly visitors, and the occasional lurker ‘attention’. I blog is what is going on in my life, and I admit that I crow loudly when I’ve done something I’m proud of. But if I can’t do that here, where can I? When I started – and stopped – and started – and stopped – and finally started for-real-this-time I did have visions of being a big blog. If you’ve been around a while you’ve heard this before. I originally wanted tons of comments, appreciative readers who learned something from my tutorials and recipes, and a sense of being popular. It was a tall list of blog-desires and it did not take much time for me to learn that it does not work that way. In fact, I found it rather like high school and that thing that makes people popular eluded me just as it always had. But, as I became a regular visitor to some of the well known blogs and I realized that few, if any, of the readers were actually friends with the writer and the big-blog appeal lessened. I encountered blogs that stated on their main page “Thanks for the comments, but I don’t have time to answer them” and the shine diminished even more. Finally, when I had my own small dose of blog nastiness and was forced to take down a post I shifted gears entirely.

This blog is truly a web-log, the origin of the word ‘blog’, and I love it in all its blathering wonder. It is a record of my day-to-day. I am more likely to keep it in this format rather than a pen and paper journal. It matters not a wit that I write about taking out the garbage or getting engaged or painting the bathroom. Some days I’ve little to say, and others I’m overflowing. Luckily, having only a small readership leaves me the latitude to write when I feel like it and rest when I don’t without ever feeling like I’m letting someone else down. I won’t lie; I enjoy the kudos, support and encouragement that I receive here but it is not the only reason I blog. I also enjoy meeting people, reading other blogs and offering the same well wishes in return. And I especially like having this record to look back on, how else would I remember D’s peanut butter/chocolate/marshmallow sandwich or the time I set the alarm off at the office because I had a senior moment and forgot the code. The big things are easy to remember; here I can store small things and in case you haven’t heard, they are important too.

Blogging is not all sunshine and roses, and I’m not speaking only of the loonies and jerks. It has many of the same pitfalls as communicating by email the biggest one being loss of tone. A good writer can convey meaning and tone, the reader knows exactly what is serious and what is tongue-in-cheek. Most bloggers are just passable writers, myself included. Those who know me ‘get it’ and those that don’t…well, not so much. Internet friendships are made and broken by tone and often neither party is aware that it was all a simple misunderstanding…a lame attempt at humor gone miserably awry. Oddly enough, I have found these long distance friendships every bit as fine as local ones, with the exception that it’s hard to take each other to dinner. I’ve also found that when they run their course it hurts just as badly…perhaps worse. The safety of being miles away is as insular as being able to flip someone off while driving. People do not act as they would face to face, or I hope that they don’t as some of the internet behavior I’ve encountered is simply deplorable. But, as I said before, people are people and while we are at the top of the food chain we are not therefore at the top of the intellect scale.

It’s not perfect, this hobby of mine, and my site suffers from a poorly educated mistress. There should be a new ‘skin’ here to celebrate the big 500; in fact there should be different skins for holidays and seasons but I’ve never quite applied myself fully to managing my own site. If you dig deep enough you are sure to find missing photos from a long defunct BuzzNet account and dead links to people that no longer blog. I’ve made more than my fair share of typos and misspellings. I’ve blogged happy and drunk and angry and sad. There are posts I wish the world could read because I believe them them better than my average and others that would be best forgotten. I’ve taken breaks and considered quitting but I never quite give it up. No, it’s not perfect but that may be the best part, there is no rule that says it has to be and no one to please other than my self. Why do I blog? For the best reasons in the world…because I like to and because I can.

*If I include my previous blog, Comfortably Numb, this is my 816th post. I have been blogging since 8/9/04…wow, where does the time go!

Posted by Shan on 05/12 at 02:59 PM
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