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Blogging about my grandfather, and our other family traumas, presents certain difficulties. I share because I need to get it off my chest and because I know that my online friends are interested in what’s going on around me. At the same time I am leery of turning this into the ‘woe is me’ blog on the ‘all drama all the time’ channel. Not just for the sake of the blog but for the sake of my own sanity. I fear I present a non-feeling image of myself by following a ‘family’ post with nonsense about fabric or a new idea. I assure you that is not the case. I simply cannot dwell solely in sadness; I’m not sure I’d ever resurface.
I’m defending myself here because I received an email yesterday from someone who felt I was selfish for posting as I do. Selfish for being uncomfortable in the place where my aunt died, and grandmother was so ill. Selfish for sharing how I feel rather as well as my concern for my Grandfather. Who knows, maybe I am. Of course I’d prefer to believe that I’m a realist, and that I’m a strong, caring person. Sadly we are never able to see ourselves as others do ... what a different place the world would be if we could.